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seasideficsr really gets along with her. she feels… normal. finally, some kind of normalcy in this family.
she has a doctorate, is a physical therapist, and is just so unlike the rest of my siblings, very successful, educated, and kind (lmao not sorry). her son is on the autism spectrum and she is neurodivergent herself (also like me and my sis), so her beliefs on life, and on mental and physical health, are completely opposite from my older siblings and much more entwined w my own.
my younger sister has been venting a lot to her ever since our dad… and she shares our views so much. i finally feel like i’m not crazy or abnormal. she hates the whole “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” mindset, too, and went on a pretty long tangent about capitalism and values, and it felt so comforting to have someone like-minded.
it’s been nice having her in..well, my sister’s life. i don’t really talk to her much myself, but my sister shares everything they say to each other, so i still feel less alone.
i feel bad looking back at how my immediate family treated her. we used to host thanksgiving at my childhood home (my grandpa’s place, really, since everyone loves him). she was vegan then (maybe still is, i’m not sure) and my brother and dad would make fun of her a lot, and i think i laughed along with them bc it was so conditioned and normalized in the house. i never fully liked her back then, honestly, i was jealous.
i used to make little comments with my sister in my teenage years when visiting her, because she had the perfect “white picket fence” life. which is so funny since now that's all I crave..I was really just a jealous btch. i assumed she must’ve been judging us for how we looked, how we dressed, how different we were. especially since one thanksgiving dinner at her house, when her guests ( don’t know who they were) were very Stuck Up, bragging about their lil boats and wealth, and making judgmental comments about what i wore. but idk...i'd like to think that didn’t reflect how my cousin-in-law felt. she’s always been kind to us.
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made homemade bingsu today, though i’ve never had the authentic kind, so i don’t know how close it was, but it was yummy! i put half a cup of milk in a gallon bag with splenda and a dash of vanilla, froze it overnight, then let it thaw just a bit before smashing it. topped it with a chopped banana and lots of cinnamon. not too sweet, very creamy.
also made a chocolate milk version with ovaltine, but tbh i don’t like it as much as nesquik. maybe it’s because i didn’t grow up with it... that one’s still in the freezer, maybe i’ll share it with my sister as a late-night sweet.
lately i’ve been craving bingsu or halo-halo. i want to try sweet beans too, but i’m afraid i won’t like them since i’ve only had beans in savory dishes. although, i know some people don’t like rice in desserts, but i looove it. arroz con leche used to be my favorite food, and it turns out it was my mom’s favorite when she was pregnant with me. feels like those two things are connected...and I could make a whole other posts abt connections similar to that.
so maybe i would like sweet beans?? i have a big bag of dried white/navy beans right now, and i’m torn between making bean and bacon soup or filipino-style candied white beans. hmm, still deciding.
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also started watching the suite life of zack and cody last night , my netflix and hbo subscriptions ran out, so i’m stuck with disney plus for now. but honestly, i don’t mind. i’ve decided i’m going to rewatch all my favorite childhood shows...starting with the suite life.
which, oh my god, they were babies. like actual babies!!! not even 15 minutes old in the first season. can’t believe they were supposed to be 12..., they didn’t look older than 9 tops.
andddd not to overanalyze, but i see myself in zack a little. i wasn’t getting into trouble like him, and definitely wasn’t GrossBoy who ate junk food 24/7 and never showered, but i relate to his mindset and mannerisms I guess.
there’s an episode where cody goes to math camp, and zack convinces himself and everyone else that cody is having a terrible time without him, when really it’s the other way around. even though zack is the first to make fun of cody and be a little bully (affectionately), he’s the codependent one.
i relate, tbh.
i was skimming reddit discussion posts as i usually do, lol, and saw a lot of people really hate zack, calling him a bad brother etc etc. granted, i’ve only just started rewatching the hotel series and haven’t even finished the first season, but he seems okay ??? just an annoying older brother, though, really, only by minutes. (idk why that's such a Fact in the show/fandom) and i feel like... its normal/common for siblings to be mean to each other at that age, or maybe my concept of siblings is messed up. wellll, i know it is.
i don’t remember him getting that Much Worse on suite life on deck, but i haven’t watched that since it aired. guess we’ll see how my opinion changes.
right now though, i love baby zack.
maybe it’s my ingrained desire to defend older sibling characters even when they’re not fandom favorites or the most likable like danny from beef and steven and shirley from hohh. shared eldest sibling syndrome yk
rewatching this series is like... i’m 8 again, it’s a saturday afternoon, and i’m lazing around on the living room couch while my dad and grandpa busy themselves.
then last night, i decided to watch the movie with my sister—so, quite a time jump since, like i said, i’m still on season 1 of the hotel—but oh my god… i strangely… kinda… liked it? it wasn’t that bad. i’d give it a 6.5, maybe even a 7. i have nostalgia-tinted glasses, obviously, but the plot was okay and the acting was okay… though cody saying “zaaaahck” is now stuck in my sister’s and my heads, lol. the way he said it… definitely felt like cole was just done with the franchise at that point. but i don’t know... we finally had zack apologizing (which apparently is a rarity?) and having empathy for cody, and them actually hearing each other’s points of view and feelings (literally).
it could’ve had the impact of the justin and alex fight from the “who will be the family wizard” competition..like that emotional “i’m your little sister” moment, or the drake & josh episode where drake breaks down in science class and tells josh how much he needs him. but… only if the premise had been better and so had the acting.anyways, i’ve kinda gone down a rabbit hole with zack and cody and cole & dylan sprouse. i feel like i’ll just always have a soft spot for them since… nostalgia. and like, i won’t get into their personalities at their current age, but it’s just been fun diving back into this franchise. my sister keeps joking it’s my new hyperfixation, and i fear she may be correct. i blame it on hockey being in the off-season and the fact that i can only watch so many seunghan videos on replay, hehehe.
