seasidefics | Reading

***

Title: every lover's got a little dagger
Author:

kat_lair
Fandom: Wheel of Time (books)
Pairing: Aviendha/Elayne Trakand
Tags: Ficlet, Does This Count As Sibling Incest? Do I Care? Maybe and No, Cross-cultural
Rating: T
Word count: 913

Summary: “Your first-sister grows impatient.”

Author notes: Response to

ourswordsmeandeath's prompt of every lover's got a little dagger in their hand (from 'Love from the Other Side') over at

likealighthouse's Fall Out Boy Femslash February Ficathon. Takes place in Book Nine after Elayne and Aviendha become first-sisters, which is one of my favourite scenes in the whole series. My notes in the book margin say 'I love this and hate that it was about a man' *g* This is unbetaed so if you spot a typo/mistake, please do let me know.

every lover's got a little dagger on AO3

( every lover's got a little dagger )

***

pauraque

This is part two of my book club notes on The Black Fantastic. (Part one is here.)

"Sanford and Sun" by Dawolu Jabari Anderson (2015)

( Sun Ra makes a guest appearance on the 1970s sitcom Sanford and Son. )

"A Song for You" by Jennifer Marie Brissett (2015)

( A girl finds the disembodied head of a singing android who lived out the legend of Orpheus during wartime. )

"Tender" by Sofia Samatar (2015)

( A woman who wrecked her life as a human undergoes a cyborg transformation so she can monitor a radioactive waste disposal site. )

"The Malady of Need" by Kiini Ibura Salaam (2016)

( This is the second time I've read this story and I still don't know what happens in it. )

shootuptill5am

hi. i wanted to write here but again, i feel like i don't really know what to say, so i'll talk about the blizzard that hit.

the blizzard started on sunday while i was at work. we ended up closing early which was nice... i got to go home while the snowfall was still pretty and nice rather than the torrential pour and crazy winds we got later. on the way to my station i had a semi-snowball fight with one of my coworkers.

i woke up yesterday morning with i think around 15(?) inches of snow outside. absolutely crazy... my classes were cancelled, and i didn't go into work. i don't even understand how they were open, however i do think my management is crazy half of the time so i guess it makes sense? but to be shrugged off when expressing concerns about safety is absolutely wild to me. i didn't do much of anything today. i really just slept all day, scrolled on my phone here and there between naps. absolutely nothing productive. it's too cold to go out anyway.

today my classes weren't cancelled but i skipped anyway. oops! with my trains being so messed up, and all of the snow, i found it hard to gather the motivation to get ready and go out so i didn't. i kind of wanted to go out and play in the snow (which sounds funny), but i don't really wanna go out... when i hole up in my place, it becomes chronic.

i like being snowed in, however i was severely unprepared. i barely have food at my place since i lacked the time to prep. time slips away quicker lately, i think. i ended up finding soup in the back of my pantry so that was my blizzard day meal. it didn't really look good, or taste that good, honestly it was unappetizing. but most things lately seem unappetizing, and that feeling stretches beyond food.

trying to stay warm!!! i have exams to study for but i really just want to watch a movie. we'll see what happens

musesfool

It snowed until around 3 pm today! Just...so much snow. Friend L sent me a pic from her building in Manhattan and it was like the storm had barely had an impact, yet by me, even though the street had been plowed, it was all snowy again. Anyway, thankfully, my boss is also under about 2 ft of snow out on the island, so we are not going in tomorrow (the person who was supposed to come meet with us had their flight cancelled, so they never even made it to NY, so that will all get rescheduled, too). Whew.

Anyway, have some brief thoughts on recent TV:

- Shrinking: ( spoilers ) This show remains hilarious and endearing.

- Pluribus: I finished it and I don't love it but I am interested in seeing where it goes. ( spoilers )

- The Pitt: ( spoilers )

*

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Irresistible - Fall Out Boy

fox_in_me

📝 Оригинальный текст записи

Несколько слов о том, что сейчас.
Спустя четыре года.
Чувствую себя не ок.
Без громких формулировок — просто не ок.
Это то состояние, когда больше всего хочется тёплых объятий в тишине. Без разговоров. Без объяснений. Просто чтобы рядом.
После очередного дня заехал выпить кофе. Поговорить. Или помолчать. Иногда даже самые сильные ломаются — не на людях, а внутри.
Моя парикмахер снова выезжает с детьми. Снова начинать с нуля.
Я уже не спрашиваю «когда вернётесь».
Каждый, с кем говорю в последнее время, понимает без слов.
Как будто у всех внутри одинаковый надлом.
В квартале от меня сегодня забрасывали камнями машину «людоловов». Тех, кто охотится на обычных людей, силой затаскивая в машину, 5 на 1го, а порой и 10 на одного, и так набирают «армию».
Похоже, в эту игру действительно могут играть двое.
И от этого не легче.
Об этом нигде не скажут.
Что в Николаеве из крана всё так же не идёт нормальная вода.
Что из-за отключений света иногда нет даже этого.
Что в Херсоне продолжают просто выживать.
И о других местах, о которых почти не говорят.
Давление со всех сторон стало таким плотным, что иногда ловишь себя на мысли:
даже если свобода формально есть — сил воспользоваться ею уже нет.
Время не вернуть.
И то, что прожито в этом режиме, уже не вычеркнуть.
Здесь я хотел написать о другом.
Оставлю пока только спойлер — это касается «бикини».
Четыре года назад я думал, что всё закончится быстро.
Сейчас у меня больше нет ожиданий.
Ради чьих-то интересов.
Ради громких слов.
Это продолжается.
И в большом городе становится всё тише.
А мне — ещё тише
И однажды кто-то скажет: “Так было всегда”.
И усталость становится новой формой выживания.

Note translated in assistance with AI.

Four Years Later

A few words about what is now.
Four years later.

I don’t feel okay.
Without loud wording — just not okay.

It’s that state when what you want most is warm hugs in silence. No conversations. No explanations. Just someone there.

After another long day, I stopped for coffee. To talk. Or to sit quietly. Sometimes even the strongest break — not in public, but inside.

My hairdresser is leaving again with her children. Starting from zero, again.
I no longer ask, “When will you come back?”

Everyone I’ve spoken to lately understands without words.
As if we all carry the same fracture inside.

A block away from me today, people were throwing stones at the van of the so-called “manhunters.”
Those who hunt ordinary men, forcing them into vehicles — five against one, sometimes ten against one — recruiting an “army” this way.

It seems that in this game, there really are two sides that can play.
And that doesn’t make it any lighter.

No one will speak about this openly.

That in Mykolaiv, normal water still doesn’t run from the taps.
That because of power outages, sometimes there isn’t even that.
That in Kherson, people continue simply to survive.
And about other places that are barely mentioned.

The pressure from all sides has become so dense that sometimes I catch myself thinking:
even if freedom formally exists — there is no strength left to use it.

Time cannot be returned.
And what has been lived in this mode cannot be erased.

Here, I wanted to write about something else.
For now, I will leave only a spoiler — it concerns “bikini.”

Four years ago, I thought it would all end quickly.
Now I no longer have expectations.

For someone’s interests.
For loud words.
It continues.

And in a big city, it keeps getting quieter.
And inside me — even quieter.

And one day, someone will say: “It was always like this.”
And fatigue will become a new form of survival.

Watch on YouTube

adore

I posted here about Amazon behaving oddly with my KDP account. I have since got wind of more information about Amazon and some recent choices it's been making.

Firstly, I subscribe to the I Heart SapphFic newsletter. They spotlight sapphic fiction and queer authors, and keep the lights on through user donations, author ads, but mostly Amazon Affiliate links. Well, turns out that Amazon has recently taken to removing queer books and books they guess are steamy from their Affiliate Program.

Amazon has also "suppressed their findability" as I found out via a newsletter from Lissette Marshall, a romantasy author. Lissette and several other romantasy authors made a charity anthology to fight book bans (the proceeds go to PEN America) in response to these changes at the Zon and other tech giants. The anthology, Romantasy Rebels, was banned twice by the Zon, and the second time, they terminated the KDP account of the author uploading it.

Not only was Romantasy Rebels unavailable a second time, but my good friend Vela Roth, who had volunteered to host the anthology on her account, lost her entire livelihood between one moment and the next.

Between you and me -- I don't think I've ever been so angry in my life.

The upside is that, as always, the bookish community stands up for each other! Thanks to friends with helpful connections, from Amazon reps to legal advice, we've managed to reverse the (unfounded) decision on their end and get Vela's books and our anthology back 🔥 (But my goodness, it was a long, long 24 hours that I hope to never experience again.)

Reading that and imagining myself in Vela's shoes, I feel indescribable. Anger, terror, and I don't know the words for what else. Vela Roth is in Kindle Unlimited, and she's a full-time romantasy author, which means her entire livelihood was on Amazon. And Amazon just deleted it all, just like that. I'm so relieved that the bookish community was able to help her and that her books and livelihood are reinstated now. Quoting Lissette again:

Amazon fuckery took down our charity anthology twice, and almost ended a wonderful author's career in the process. In addition to all else, the experience has been a frightening reminder of just how dependent indie authors are on a very small number of tech companies who don't particularly like spice, or marginalised people, or, you know, democracy.

So, yeah. That's what's going on. I feel better about having to unpublish Bloodhunt Academy now, because it was a queer book and Amazon is clearly not a home for it.

As for Romantasy Rebels, it's being sold wide (so it's on all the major ebook retailers, not just Amazon) and will be available until the end of the month. Proceeds will go to PEN America. There's also a charity auction organised by romantasy authors, called The Books They Can't Burn, and its proceeds will also go to PEN America. The charity auction has a variety of items that one can bid on, including ebook omnibuses, signed special editions, Zoom chats with authors, etc. I even saw a fight scene consult with a martial artist, how fun. It looks like several people are bidding on everything so I'm glad it's going well!

Current Mood: discontent

paradisedinermod posting in

paradisediner

The regular weekly post for us to talk about any and all of our thoughts about the week's new releases.

IVE - Blackhole
NCT JNJM - Both Sides
Daily:Direction - Roomba Doomba (debut)
ChoCo Family - Gimme / Frenzy
Minho - Flawless / Sunkissed
WJSN - Bloom Hour
Chaser (debut)
One Pact - Sane
QQQ
ASC2NT - Still Rose
AtHeart - Shut Up (pre-release)
NMIXX - Tic Tic (feat. Pabllo Vittar)
Blackpink - Go
Wezag (debut)

New MVs are also added to an ongoing Youtube playlist.

Last week's MVs: 16 February

Feel free to add new comments in the replies for songs/MVs we missed.

[ Rec Something Wednesday | WIP Wednesday | Monthly General Chat | Comment Fest ]

musesfool

I got up to watch the hockey this morning and despite Team USA pulling it off in OT, I do not accept that Bill Guerin was proved right in his choices. Eighty-five percent of the game was played in their defensive end and they only won because Connor Hellebuyck stood on his head. Maybe a little more scoring power on the team could have given them some breathing room. I am just saying. I'm happy for Hellebuyck and the Hughes brothers, and I got a little teary when they brought out the Gaudreau jersey and his kids, and I'm not gonna lie, watching Jon Cooper and Connor McDavid (along with Sam Bennett, Tom Wilson, and Brad Marchand) lose was pleasing to me on a deep, personal level, but overall, I'd still have preferred the Finns or the Swedes take home the gold.

I then baked some oatmeal for breakfast for the week, and made macaroni salad for a few days of lunch, and then for dinner, I made angel hair as planned, though when I actually read the recipe, it was not anything new to me - it was what I always do for a super quick tomato sauce, except they were adding chile crisp to it, which I guess is the thing nowadays - every recipe I read has chile crisp in it, but I'm not really a chile crisp person. I have the heat tolerance (in terms of spiciness, though I also don't like my food super hot temperature-wise either) of the whitest baby you know.

Anyway! It is a super easy but delicious meal and if you don't mind waiting a few extra minutes, you can do it all in one pot. Boil your pasta - angel hair is best for this, imo - and reserve a cup of pasta water before you drain it. Return the pot to the stove over low heat and add in a nice glug of olive oil (2 tbsp if you need a measurement), and then add a whole can or tube of tomato paste to the oil (so between 4 and 6 oz). Stir it around and season it as you like - I used garlic and onion powder, oregano and red pepper flakes and salt, but if you want to get fancy, you could probably saute a diced shallot and some minced garlic in the oil for a minute or two before adding the tomato paste - for 2-3 minutes, until it's all hot and sizzling. If you are so inclined, add chile crisp to suit your taste. Then add the pasta back, and about half the reserved water and toss it until the pasta is coated. I only used 4 oz of angel hair, so if you have more, you might need more water. Then put it in bowls and sprinkle it with parmesan cheese. If you are in an even bigger rush, you can sizzle the tomato paste in a frying pan while the pasta cooks and then combine it all back in the pasta pot. The couple of minutes you save isn't worth having to wash an extra pot to me, but it might be to some people.

*

Current Mood: productive
Current Music: Cruel Summer = Taylor Swift

kat_lair

***

Title: too many hits off this memory
Author:

kat_lair
Fandom: Telephone - Lady Gaga ft Beyoncé (Music Video)
Pairing: Beyoncé Knowles/Lady Gaga
Tags: Ficlet, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Post-Canon, Kissing, Vaginal Fingering
Rating: M
Word count: 491

Summary: Gaga likes making memories more than she likes revisiting them.

Author notes: Well, in a perfect illustration of 'never say never' here is a surprise new installment of the show me your teeth series after, uhh, over ten years. But a) I heard a rumour of Telephone pt2, and b)

luckyzukky's prompt of i took too many hits off this memory (from 'Hold Me Tight Or Don't') at

likealighthouse's Fall Out Boy Femslash February Ficathon proved inspiring. This is unbetaed so if you spot a typo/mistake, please do let me know.

too many hits off this memory on AO3

( too many hits off this memory )

***

shootuptill5am

patience is so hard, but not knowing if patience is what will bring things along is harder

pauraque

This early PC platformer is of no small historical interest, as it was the first game released by everybody's favorite totally uncontroversial and non-resented game publishing company, Electronic Arts. Like most of their titles then and now, it wasn't developed in-house; Michael Abbott and Matthew Alexander get the design and programming credit for this one.

grid of construction scaffolding with gaps and chains hanging down to climb

grid of construction scaffolding with gaps and chains hanging down to climb

But you don't need to me to tell you the illustrious history of EA (or, as it was briefly called at its inception, "Amazin' Software"—and I can't tell you how disappointed I am that we don't live in the timeline where they kept that name). I guess you also don't technically need me to tell you about this ridiculous game and my memories of playing it while being unable to identify most of the characters and objects it contains, but I'm going to go ahead anyway.

In Hard Hat Mack you play as a construction worker. I did understand that much. In the first level you have to collect pieces of a beam and use them to fill in the gaps, and then grab a wandering jackhammer to hammer them into place. ( This is where my understanding of the game began to break down; I thought the jackhammer was a tornado. )

Hard Hat Mack is... well, it sure is a game. You can find it on abandonware sites, but I couldn't really get it to run well on any version or emulator I tried. The DOS version (which I had as a kid) runs too fast in DOSBox by default, but when I reduced the clock speed I found that it lagged badly when multiple objects were moving, which made the second level pretty much unplayable. We probably shouldn't hold our breaths for EA to offer a re-release, and maybe that's for the best.

adore

Was reading a fic and laughed out loud at it.

Am delighting myself writing Dollshops & Deathmages. I'm halfway done and happy with how it's shaping up.

Had an excellent peach kombucha to drink.

Have the house to myself for a glorious while, because my relatives are travelling.

Am enjoying a k-drama tremendously. Undercover Miss Hong. It's halfway aired, let's hope the rest of it is just as good. (You know those silly Hollywood action movies where there's a guy doing some kind of secret operation, and women who are in the narrative all have crushes on him, and he's too busy doing Important Stuff to notice? Imagine if it was the heroine doing stuff too Secret and Important to pay much mind to the men growing feelings for her, and you have Undercover Miss Hong. Trust k-drama to make something assuming *I* am watching the way other media industries make things assuming men are watching. And it features strong female friendships!)

Three out of the five things I have put down here are related to stories. 역시, whenever I'm happy, stories are usually at the heart of my happiness.

anr

Dance Circles Around the Pieces of Your Heart (1864 words) by anr
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Original Work
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Characters: Original Female Character, Original Male Character
Additional Tags: Toxic Parent, age gap, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kissing, Touching, Older Man/Younger Woman, Bartender/Customer
Summary: She's a little surprised by how much she wants him to be single. Available.

Current Mood: busy
Current Music: Laurel - Blue Blood

anr

Sometimes I Breathe You In and I Know You Know (3013 words) by anr
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Heroes (TV 2006), Heroes Reborn (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Claire Bennet/Peter Petrelli
Characters: Peter Petrelli, Claire Bennet
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Uncle/Niece Incest, Incest, Time Travel Fix-It, Touching, Kissing
Summary: He thinks about how he runs at the mouth some days, rambling about whatever comes to mind, talking about her. How she's eighteen, and his niece, Nathan's daughter, his family and a teenager and how he's going to go to hell because of the way he thinks about her, he knows it.

Current Mood: busy
Current Music: Tori Amos - Hey Jupiter

musesfool

This afternoon, I made this lemon cake because 1. I had an open container of ricotta I wanted to use up before it spoiled, and 2. I've been looking for a nut-free alternative to my favorite lemon cake since one of my nieces has a tree nut allergy. It turns out I did not have enough ricotta, but I made it up with sour cream, and the cake seems fine. It did stick to the pan in one small spot so I didn't take a picture of it since it had a gash in it, but it tastes great. The trick of adding turbinado sugar to the glaze to make it crunchy is a good one, too.

I also made dressing for coleslaw, which I've never done before - always just bought the pre-made deli version - and it's ok, not great. Not tangy enough, tbh. I wonder if replacing some of the mayo with buttermilk is the way to go. I ate some with a steak I pan-fried for dinner and that was nice. I don't have steak very often, but sometimes it goes on sale and I get it.

We're supposed to be getting between 12"-18" of snow tomorrow/Monday (wait, I just checked, and the current forecast is 39% likelihood of at least 18" if not more, wow), and I'm supposed to go into the office on Tuesday, so I guess we'll see what actually materializes, whether the streets are cleaned, and how I feel on Tuesday morning. Supposedly we're getting a free lunch, but I don't know when the consultant who is supposed to be buying it for our in person meeting is flying in, idk what is going to happen. There was some back and forth on Teams today about the storm and they are notifying everyone to be remote on Monday, which is the smart choice.

Anyway, my menu is not very cozy - I was planning on making that lemony macaroni salad for lunches, and some baked oatmeal with cherries and chocolate chips for breakfast. I do have bread, milk, and eggs, so there could always be French toast! Though I did make that on Wednesday when I realized it was Ash Wednesday (and that I'd completely forgotten Shrove Tuesday). I'll probably have pasta for dinner tomorrow regardless, since it's Sunday.

Today, I watched Batman Ninja, which features the Batfamily time traveling back to feudal Japan (but so much Joker and I am so tired of Joker), and then its sequel, Batman vs. the Yakuza League, which I enjoyed more because it has Wonder Woman in it and she's fantastic as always. It also features ( I guess this is a spoiler ) It was weird to me though that we got 4 Batboys (Jason's feudal Japan headgear is HILARIOUS), but no Cass or Babs at all, and I didn't love the art for Selina. Someday we'll get an animated version of Wayne Family Adventures and the girls and Duke will get their due!

*

Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: So Far Away - Carole King

whereismiko

i think my fandom friends are the people i feel the closest connection to.

at the same time, my fandom friends will never know the true me.

i have been to an english speaking country once in my life. it was one of my favourite times ever; not only did i see hamilton live, but the cashier in sainsbury's called me 'darling' and let me pay with only the change i had for the ice cream i was buying. i think it cost 23p more than i had; she just winked at me and told me not to worry.

that was 8 years ago. and since then, i haven't been in an environment where i would have to use only english to communicate.

i love english. it made its way into my brain effortlessly; my english teacher was perpetually mad at me for not learning the stories he was assigning us. we had to learn these little stories called 'shaggy dog english'; they had the most englishly dry humour possible and were absolutely wonderful. my memory is very good, so it took me two readings before i knew what the stories sounded like, and was able to tell them from memory.

i don't like to speak in english. there is something ugly and humbling when hearing my accent slip through the words i say. it's embarrassing to forget a word, and it's so awkward to not be understood immediately and having to repeat myself, or worse, change the wording of things. talking in english has this additional layer of awkwardness embedded in it, which makes my autistic self terrified to say anything.

at the same time, i know i should be proud of my capabilities. i write prose in another language. what you're reading right now is not merely a translation—it's the real stream of consciousness, it's the exact way the words form in my brain. i think in another language which is completely foreign to me. nobody in my family understands english. nobody in my family understands the english part of me.

but you don't understand me as well, not fully.

there is a big portion of my thoughts that will stay hidden from almost everyone reading this. you will not get my humour. you will not understand the Polish that i have within me. i feel weird about that. i feel weird about the fact that some of the things vital to my culture i will not be able to explain. it's strange to have such a big part of yourself hidden from the people you feel the closest to.

it gains another sort of depth after studying translation. spending hours reading the essays that come to the same conclusion: there are some cultural obstacles that language and translation will not be able to carry through. you can be close, but it will never be the same. you can read what i wrote, but you will never know what i had in mind for certain. it's a depressing thought.

lately, i've been feeling very lonely. and the fact that there are two halves of me that are hidden behind two different languages makes me want to scream.

i just want to be understood. i just want to not be lonely anymore.

and i can't even find the right words to express it.

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: mitski - brand new city

kat_lair

***

Title: Appleading
Author:

kat_lair
Fandom: Wheel of Time (technically just the books but it's not really contradicting anything re the show either)
Pairing: Liandrin Guirale & Moghedien, Liandrin Guirale/Moghedien
Tags: Ficlet, Control, Power Dynamics, Choking, Torture
Rating: M
Word count: 632

Summary: In an old townhouse in Amador, Liandrin begs with eloquence she didn’t even know she possessed. It’s a wonder what fear can do, to loosen tongues and inhibitions.

Author notes: Response to

merryfortune's prompt of You're appealing to emotions that I simply do not have (from 'It’s Hard to Say ”I Do”, When I Don’t') over at

likealighthouse's Fall Out Boy Femslash February Ficathon. Takes place during Book Five when Moghedien catches the Black Ajah in Amador. This is unbetaed so if you spot a typo/mistake, please do let me know. Except for the title which is me mangling the English language on purpose. For my amusement.

Appleading on AO3

( Appleading )

***

greetingsfrommaars

writing for this year's bloody hearts bingo is going quite well! i'm being (perhaps foolishly) ambitious and trying to fill prompts for my entire bingo board instead of just one bingo. currently at 14/25 done with concrete plans for everything left. i'm lucky this event allows wip/private fills.

there's a yearly mxtx event coming up that i've been eyeing from previous years, but i don't think it'll work out for me this year. it's due at around the same time as the tbz of olympus fest, which takes precedence because i've already signed up for it. speaking of which, i've been awash in greek mythology inspo and planning for my fic! i can already tell i'm going to have to think carefully about its scope so i can finish on time. excited to get into it :D do you ever become obsessed with a fictionalized version of a guy that only exists in your own brain (and who isn't even supposed to be the main character)

Kpop Demon Hunters: so, my friend showed me a video of a demo version of "what it sounds like", which sent me off to listen to all the other song demos shown in an interview with EJAE, songwriter and voice of rumi. (there's also this playlist with just the song demo clips for easy listening.) it was really interesting to hear earlier versions and think about how they might have developed into what we heard in the movie.
( some more song thoughts )

Spiritfarer: i sometimes browse the /r/Spiritfarer subreddit just to see new posts about the game, and i was amazed by this person who has been building a real-life model of the player's boat and all the buildings! they're 3D-printing the buildings to scale and painting them, and the front sides are removable so they can furnish the interiors. i love that they can rearrange the building modules and play with the game's boat customization mechanic in real life! they also made alex's bus stop 🥺

VIXX: unexpectedly, we got a 4vixx medley performance on "it's Live"?? feels like basically a Killing Voice video but not from the Killing Voice channel lol. thinking about the former members, i thought that they might just avoid ravi lines in the arrangement (and that avoiding hongbin lines might not be that hard 🙃), but instead we have other members just trying to sound like ravi's deep voice, which is kind of funny. i like ken doing the "you shot right through my heart" line in "voodoo doll" but not the extended grunt right after lmao.

Drawfee: excellent new fan animation of the juice story! packed with visual gags.

pushkin666

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

Current Mood: melancholy
Current Location: on my Chandler/Joey chair

pauraque

Opening in the days of the Harlem Renaissance, the first page of this novel states the culmination of its story: A door-to-door cosmetics salesman shot his eighteen-year-old mistress, and then the salesman's wife crashed the funeral to try to stab the girl's corpse. Why? The reader wants to know, and so do many of the characters. The book offers answers only indirectly, taking a sprawling path into the characters' pasts, where their families came from, and the intergenerational trauma of the slavery era that's still in living memory at this time.

The prose style of this book really worked for me and did a lot of the heavy lifting of drawing me into the story. It's lyrical and artistic without ever sacrificing readability. If there's a bit you don't understand, you will understand it in time, but first we have to go back to the beginning of another character's story and circle back around to connect to the main plot—and it does always connect. I think this is the meaning of the title; the book is not about jazz music, but it has the shape of jazz in the way it can state a melody, wander off and explore for a while until you've almost forgotten what song it is, and then return very satisfyingly before passing it off to another player in the ensemble.

I found this book in a free box and then it sat on my shelf for years (shout-out to

lebateleur, my read-books-we-already-own accountability buddy!). It has a lot of underlining, highlighting, and marginal notes from whoever had it before, pointing out themes of dehumanization, rehumanization, and the necessity of deep context for understanding. They underlined "Something else you have to figure in before you figure it out" and also wrote it in pen on the title page. On multiple pages they wrote "Jazzonia" in the margin, by which I assume they meant the Langston Hughes poem.

Jazzonia (1926)

Oh, silver tree!
Oh, shining rivers of the soul!

In a Harlem cabaret
Six long-headed jazzers play.
A dancing girl whose eyes are bold
Lifts high a dress of silken gold.

Oh, singing tree!
Oh, shining rivers of the soul!

Were Eve’s eyes
In the first garden
Just a bit too bold?
Was Cleopatra gorgeous
In a gown of gold?

Oh, shining tree!
Oh, silver rivers of the soul!

In a whirling cabaret
Six long-headed jazzers play.

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Page Summary

kat_lair - WoT Ficlet: every lover's got a little dagger
pauraque - The Black Fantastic: 20 Afrofuturist Stories, ed. andré m. carrington (2025) [part 2]
shootuptill5am - blizzard
musesfool - all your flaws are aligned with this mood of mine
fox_in_me - 4 years later
adore - The Zon is up to more nonsense + romantasy authors resisting
paradisedinermod in paradisediner - New Music Monday - 23 February 2026
musesfool - i don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you
kat_lair - Telephone MV Ficlet: too many hits off this memory
shootuptill5am - (no subject)
pauraque - Hard Hat Mack (1983)
adore - Good things recently
anr - FIC: Dance Circles Around the Pieces of Your Heart (Original Work)
anr - FIC: Sometimes I Breathe You In and I Know You Know (Heroes)
musesfool - it would be so fine to see your face at my door
whereismiko - language
kat_lair - WoT Ficlet: Appleading
greetingsfrommaars - misc fandom stuff
pushkin666 - Inspiring Quotes - Children's Authors
pauraque - Jazz by Toni Morrison (1992)

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