fml

being a hypochondriac in such a dismissive family SUCKS! i scraped my ankle pretty hard on the metal frame of my bed, which is very old and probably dirty/rusty. it really hurt, but i did all the proper steps ie. washed it with soap, then hydrogen peroxide, and put on neosporin. so yeah, like, 99.9% chance i'm perfectly fine and just being paranoid. but what if, in the very 0.1% chance, i actually end up getting tetanus?

i think the last time i got my vaccine was in sixth grade?like the mandatory period when you have to get it entering middle school or something...so it’s been more than 10 years. sigh, i just want to get the shot to be safe rather than sorry, you know? i do not want to get lockjaw and just suffer because i put off a stupid vaccine.

the problem is i can’t drive, so i’m planning(want to) to ask my brother to drop me off at a minuteclinic tmrw or tuesday so i can just get a walk-in tdap shot. but my sister is already completely dismissing me, saying i should just wait and see if it gets worse.(but that's the whole point i wanna get it..i don't want it to get worse!!)  and my brother is so much worse about this stuff...he’s just gonna wave me off and say, “i’m sure you’ll be fine.” just ughhhhh.

like i'm the one gonna be fucked and affected if everyone turns out wrong and i actually did get the infection!!! so, it's easy for them to act like i'm crazy and dismiss me.

i think it just hurts too since i never ever go to the doctor, so they should know how anxious i am about this, and that it’s taking so much out of me to push past my severe anxiety/agoraphobia  to go to a stupid clinic in a city i’m not familiar with at all.

i really don’t wanna get laughed at… like, i know that i’m being so paranoid, but every time i google it, it’s like, “you should get the booster just in case,” and it just reminds me of rabies, which i went down a dreadful rabbit hole about years ago, and i do not want that!!
 

idk the more i look at it...maybe i'll save myself the embarrassment and not ask, as it really is a small scrape..i think i just am freaking out bc it hurt so much and that it broke skin a bit. but it's not a deep puncture wound or anything. i need to chill out.