thoughts

[seasidefics]

i feel like i should post this and just get some of my thoughts out, as i woefully and foolishly just spent time praising them in my last post (before all the videos started emerging), and i just feel so disheartened and kind of stupid, really.

i know whenever a man you stan shows his true colors and gets into a controversy (and even calling it that feels like i’m diluting the meaning of what has happened), everyone always responds with, “well, what were you thinking he’d be like?” or “you should’ve expected that.” and while i get the sentiment and also tell myself that, i also think we shouldn’t have bottom-of-the-barrel expectations of them just because they’re men. we should be able to think they’re decent people out there. otherwise, we’ve basically accepted that this is just how they behave, like “boys will be boys.”

i don’t know if i’m articulating myself well right now, but yeah. i just feel angry for wasting my time and energy with watching so many videos and interviews the past two years, and even attempting character studies about these guys.

i just really did not think they would use winning gold at the olympics to hard-launch being maga bootlickers either. like it’s insane to think about how just weeks ago jack hughes(and quinn, to a lesser extent) was known as one of the faces promoting inclusivity and pride in the league, and now he’s gone from that to being the poster boy for this administration and regime. he’s really their new golden boy, and i guess he’s made his bed and is proud of it...if his answers and the pictures being uploaded from the visit are anything to go by.

anyways, i try not to bring current politics into this sphere, as i’m sure this is a lot of people’s escapism and they just don’t want to be reminded how terrible everything is, but i felt like i should at least let my thoughts be known.

i was also in the middle of writing a stanley cup fic about the hughes , and i don’t know what to do with it. i follow a lot of writers on hockey tumblr, and most are going to continue writing the WIP's (featuring them) they currently have. some are gonna try to make the characters less distinguishable or more oc, or change the name all together etc., and i just don’t know if i should follow that and continue writing and then publish it, or if i should just scrap it altogether.

normally i would just scrap it, but i’m proud of this one… sigh. and like the main plot centers around the hughes brothers, and the sibling dynamics are so intertwined with the theme and the storyline that i don’t know if i can just change it to other players. i guess i'll just let it rot as of right now, and decide what to do at a later time.